There is anguish and heartache in the world, and a lesson came to me through that this week. That makes it hard to write this without feeling like I am capitalizing on someone’s pain or making their tragedy be about me. But I think this is how we (or at least I) learn sometimes. Through empathy, through observing life and feeling an experience even if we are not the main characters of the story this time.
When we observe an unfair situation in life and learn to be more open or read about a tragic accident and come away from it with a new promise to live life to the fullest, these are gifts and perhaps the exact lessons the universe knows we needed.
“You don’t have to worry,” he said as his arms around me held me tight.
“You don’t know,” I replied.
And then as I processed what his words actually were: “you don’t have to worry,” I went on, “well, yeah, I don’t have to worry, but you just don’t know what could happen.”
We stayed calmly in each other’s arms for a bit longer, breathing each other in. In love and savoring our time together.
I am truly blessed.
“I don’t have to worry, but what if…” I continued, not yet ready to give up my fear of potential pain in the future.
Later, on my own, I thought again about his words: You don’t have to worry. It’s true. Worrying is a choice, and worrying about losing him to some random accident won’t prevent it from happening. What is there to do? There is nothing I could do to prepare for an accident, a tragedy, an indiscriminate occurrence that takes him from me. The pain will not be less if I begin processing it now. The shock will not be eased if I think through all ways I will feel now. No, there is nothing I can do and I don’t have to worry.
In fact, worrying about losing the love of your life may actually prevent you from experiencing the depth of emotion this kind of love can bring. Worrying about the pain of failure may prevent you from taking a chance at success. Worrying about saying the wrong thing may prevent you from sharing what someone else really needed to hear. Worrying about how others may react to you showing up fully as you in the world may prevent the world from receiving the gift that you are.
Take a deep breath, and trust. You don’t have to worry.