Ahhh… it finally feels like fall. I know it officially started last week, but this week I feel it. The change of the seasons is marked on just one day but sometimes it can take me a little longer to fully welcome it. And last week I was feeling my resistance. I noticed I was resisting letting go, a.k.a. controlling. I was resisting the “change” aspect of fall, a.k.a. controlling.
Luckily, I have been meditating for quite a while now and one of the greatest gifts this practice has given me is the ability to notice and watch my mind as it does its thing! As I watched this griping and controlling energy show up and became aware of that resistance, I was able to release it a just a bit. And then more… That awareness is the key to change in everything.
Becoming aware of my resistance and letting go of my need to be in control so I can consciously make choices and live in alignment with my values. This is the path of constant growth.
I am currently part of a coaching team and one thing we are teaching people are tools to become aware of how they spend their time and money.
There is, of course, resistance.
When we begin to look at how we spend our time and money, we see which values we have been prioritizing – when there is no time for self-care on our calendar, that shows us something. When we budget $100 for family fun, yet repeatedly spend $200 each month and then feel bad about spending “too much,” we may see we are not being honest about the importance of family fun right now. Why not choose the $200 and truly experience the fun!
It’s all about awareness and choice – budgets and schedules are tools to give structure to our lives to help us live as our best true selves. Just like having a drawer for socks in your dresser gives you structure so you know where they go. Do you resent the sock drawer? No, you use it as a tool to eliminate chaos and uncertainty and time-sucking decision making of where to put your socks every time you put away your laundry!
Having a schedule planned with “every morning at 7:15, I will exercise or stretch” doesn’t confine you, it frees you to know when you will exercise. And… YOU are the one designing which drawer your socks go in, what your schedule looks like, and what you spend your money on. You are in charge and it is flexible – you can change it as you learn and grow.
These tools are for our freedom not our confinement or limitation. How free will you feel when your annual car registration comes up and you have the money in your account waiting to be used for that payment instead of reacting by “taking” from your fun money or putting it on a credit card. How free will you be when you simply know it’s time to work out without the struggle of figuring out when to do it each day.
Can you shift your perspective of these tools and embrace the gifts they are to bring freedom, not control, to your life?
Control does not give us freedom, choice does – choice of how we spend our time and our money and ultimately our internal energy.